Ah, confidence. That can be so elusive sometimes.

As a parent, you know you’re the voice inside your child’s head. What does that voice say to them? It’s a huge responsibility. We all want the best for our kids. We all want to raise, strong, confident, successful adults.

You can teach a skill or a piece of content information in a short period of time, but confidence is a long-term investment.

In my opinion and experience, there are two ways of building confidence in your kids:

1. Macro confidence builders. This is where you support your kids while exposing them to learning experiences that are outside their comfort zone. Signing up for a new sports league, joining a theater group, taking an advanced academic course or going to sleep away camp could all be examples of this.

2. Micro confidence builders. This would consist of small, daily affirmations given from parents to their children that build their confidence over the long term. Telling your children you love them, listening to them, showing them you value their thoughts and feelings are all examples.

When it comes homeschooling, there are actual proven teaching techniques that are also micro confidence builders. These are small, easy practices -- little things you can do every day -- to make your children feel confident in their intelligence and abilities and make them active participants in their learning.

They’ve worked very well for me over the years, and I still vouch for them today.

Let’s dive in!

Scaffolding 

Scaffolding is a specific method to teach new information. You may have heard of it as the “I do,” “we do,” “you do” approach. After you introduce or explain a new learning, you demonstrate it for your kids. Second, you and your kids practice applying the new learning to a situation together. Finally, they work with the new learning on their own, independent of your help.

For example, when teaching a new vocabulary word, you first explain the meaning of the word. Then, you demonstrate how to use the word in a sentence appropriately to show understanding of the word’s meaning. After that, together with your kids, you craft several sentences demonstrating its meaning. Finally, they write several sentences using the word on their own.

The same can apply to a math problem. You introduce and explain a new math concept to your kids, and share several examples of how it works. Then you and your kids solve several math problems using the new concept together. Lastly, they apply the new concept to solve several math problems by themselves.

This approach helps kids who are unsure of themselves or who are intimidated by a new learning. Over time, it makes them confident problem solvers.

Keep in mind that you don’t always need to apply scaffolding when homeschooling. Kids that are very strong in their academics teach themselves most of the time. After the initial explanation and maybe one example given by you, they can dive straight into independent work.

But that’s not always going to be the case, even for those kids. The time will come when an academically talented child finds a subject that’s difficult and a struggle to learn. That’s quite a shock for them! When that time comes, apply scaffolding right away.

Look for the scaffolding in the curricula you currently use. It should be there to some degree, in the form of how-to instructions, followed by illustrations and examples. The important “we do” part of scaffolding requires a live person next to your kids, working alongside them before they try it on their own. That’s you!

Wait Time 

When you ask your child a question during homeschool, they may not come up with the answer right away. Don’t answer it for them or allow another person to answer if you’re homeschooling a small group. Give them ample wait time to answer!

The wait time technique consists of simply waiting 3 to 5 full seconds for a child to answer a question. After you ask the question, count for three to five full seconds quietly in your head (one-one thousand, two-one thousand, etc.) before you help them with the answer or ask another child to answer.

More often than not, the first child will attempt an answer before the five seconds are up. Wait time can feel like an eternity to you, but it’s not. I promise!

Practicing wait time is particularly important in a small group setting, like a coop group. It’s all too easy to give your attention to the louder, more dominant kids, who are quick and eager to participate.

Wait time is a very important technique that ensures everyone participates in a group discussion, especially the naturally shy students or those who process less quickly than others. It’s a big confidence builder for those kids. Passing over kids who don’t answer right away deprives them of the chance to be an active part of the group, and it diminishes the group dynamic.

Wait time builds confidence and makes everyone feel valued.

Repeating Their Answer -- Or Repeating Their Question 

Believe it or not, repeating your child’s question or answer is a huge affirmation. It gives value and weight to their contribution. This is particularly helpful when combined with wait time. Kids get a thrill when their teacher repeats what they say out loud. It’s a jolt of encouragement.

You can’t do repetition ALL of the time, especially if you’re homeschooling your child one on one. Use your good judgement on this. When you feel like you’re about to start sounding like a broken record, respond to their questions with a quick “Yes!” or “Good question!” This is also an affirmation.

Then again, sometimes your kids’ questions or answers aren’t relevant or even on the right track. If they aren’t intentionally misbehaving, ask them to tell you more on how they came up with that. Their answer may give you a clue as to the gap in their understanding or what they’ve missed altogether. It’s always interesting and useful to get insights into their thought processes.

Applying repetition consistently in a small group setting maintains the group’s attention also. It prevents kids who are momentarily distracted from getting completely lost for the remainder of the discussion.

When mediating a small group discussion, practice repetition! Combined with wait time, you’ll have outstanding whole group participation and confident kids who feel safe sharing their ideas.

Specific Praise

Telling someone that something is good or great doesn’t have a lot of meaning, unless it’s followed by specific praise. WHY was that answer good? WHAT made that project great?

Specific praise is clear and detailed feedback that isn’t remotely vague. It builds confidence and affirms your kids because it tells them exactly what they do well and how they demonstrated that ability.

Even if they didn’t get perfect answers, what did you, the homeschooling parent, like about their work? Did they follow directions, did they show that they put some thought into the problem?

If you need a little help with specific praise, revisit the curricular rubric or scoring tool and tell your kids how they met the criteria there. Or, you can praise their work study habits. Those are important too!

Specific praise is a big confidence builder, because learning and education isn’t a black and white, right or wrong type of situation. Most of the time, your kids won’t have it exactly right. They need clear feedback to let them know how they’re on the right track and how to move forward.

It’s a matter of understanding where your kids are and where you want to be, and what works best to get them there. You know your kids best. You’ve got this!!

Try one of these four confidence building teaching techniques and see how it works for you! Then incorporate or try another one. Most of all, have fun with them! See how the kids respond. Your voice will be the one that gives them the self-assurance and affirmation they need.